isolation

This is not a bad thing.

I'm just thinking about it. How much time we spend alone...when there are so many people around us. Even people we want to be around.

And then we go and say we are lonely or don't want to be alone.

I mean, look at families. They interact, and then they lock themselves away in their individual bedrooms and introvert.

I dunno. Maybe only introverts do that. Maybe extroverts spend all their time talking and being together.

I miss my mom. That was random. Well, not really random, as I visited her grave today and cried something fierce. It's about time that I cried. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to and that I'd have a day where I'd totally break down and be useless.

That happened...last month, I think it was. It wasn't nice.

The reason I mentioned that is that I remember how she used to want to be together with someone...my dad or me...she loved to talk.

She'd want to hear about every single detail of my entire day, start to finish, and it was like she was living it through me.

I never thought I'd be sitting down reminiscing about her. As in, she's not here, and I'm remembering what she was like.

She was my best friend. Like for real. A lot of people can't say that their mom is their best friend, but she really knew me, inside and out, knew when I needed time and when I needed a hug, knew to give me hugs even when I insisted I didn't want them.

I've got another tab open with Dodie Clark's song "Human."

One of the lines goes "We're just...human."

And I'm realizing...that's the saddest thing ever.