Pre-Christmas

We're moving, so no decorating. Not really.

But that doesn't mean I can't shirk my responsibilities at work and make a list of Christmas movies to watch instead!

Home Alone 1 and 2
The Christmas Kiss (my favorite)
Pentatonix On My Way Home Documentary (not a Christmas movie, but still. I've been putting it off for a special time. And I first fell in love with the band at the beginning of December last year.)

Wait. I can't think of any others.

Oh well.

I'm sure I'll get recommendations.

I want a new set of plugs (pretty ones) and a gold hoop for my nose. But I no has ze money.

And we need someplace to move to. I guess I should call the places I found online. Why does it feel like I'm the only one to do any of this stuff? My dad doesn't call realtors or anything, he just sits around and waits for an apartment to fall into his lap. Yeesh. Or he thinks someone will recommend? I dunno. I dunno what goes on in his brain. Seriously, though, once my mom gets better and stuff, I want to save up and get my own place. Preferably with my bff Khrys. Cause something has to give. Like, this can't last forever. It just can't.

technology rant..and other stuff

Why does technology only work when it wants to? And why doesn't it work when you really need it to? What sort of conspiracy IS this?

No, really.

What's going on?

And I know this is kind of a big jump to make, topic-wise, but I sort of wish I wasn't alive. Like, that I had never been born. What is my purpose for being here? I don't like being here. I'd like to go away.

And if everybody is going to die, then why bother being born? Why do we have to exist in this huge cosmic space thingamabob called the universe? It's bothersome, being alive. I don't like it.

And why do some people have life circumstances that allow them to branch out and try things and be successful at them, and why do others get held back, no matter how hard they try? And what do I need to do to get this stupid car alarm to stop randomly going off? Does anyone have a bazooka to blast it into infinity? It's very annoying.

Seriously. It sounds like someone's programming their car's ringtone.

SIGH.

There is no point to anything. Nothing matters. It really doesn't.

So I just realized (being up at 2:30 a.m. and looking on Pinterest for clothing inspiration) that I've dyed my hair twice in my life. Didn't realize that before.

Hmm. Kinda want to do it again, but blonde this time.

That's a big commitment.

Cheez-its and Blue Moon for dinner.

Then fall asleep to the sound of Ed Sheeran's Give Me Love.

Me.

This is epic.

I'm happy. I'm stressed in other ways, but right now, I'm mostly happy. And I'll take all the happiness I can get.

I got my logos delivered, finally! And I LOVE them!

They are perfection. Like, this is so exciting. So now all I have to do is complete the music for the song (I've been saying that for a while now, but mom has been in the hospital for a little over a week and so it's been pretty crazy) and draft up the audition call.

This is great. And the weather is good, too, so maybe it's God giving me some extra time to film.

I'm also officially a tutor. Nice. Yes. Indeedly.

Mom should be coming home tomorrow. I've got a lot to do to prepare. I also tutor again. But for now, I'm going to focus on what's making me happy, because I need it.

I'm going to make music.