Baby It's Cold Outside!

Hi there!

It's December now. Christmas is well on it's way, and the freezing weather hasn't been lagging too far behind - we're going down to 29 degrees Farenheit tonight.

That's really cold. I'm really cold.

Anyway, this semester has gone by so quickly; already there's only one week left of classes and then its finals week and then we're done!

Technically, I should only have one more semester left in school, but eh, things often don't go according to schedule, and my life (as I'm sure you've noticed by now) is no exception. I'm not the only one spending a few extra semesters in college...a few of my friends are too, and I've been told that it's quite common, so I don't feel so bad. The worst part, really, is just that my dad will be having to pay ten thousand dollars extra, because of that. Actually, more, because that's only for tuition, not counting books or transportation. So...we can tack on another $2000 for that, probably.

Not cool, but, I've gotta make the best of it. He's not sending me to school to come out sub-par...I'm going there to learn everything they teach me and to master it. If I can stop procrastinating and just generally wasting time, then perhaps I'd find room for all these extra-curricular activities that I'd like to do.

VIP things I need to do over winter break:

1. Shadow a P.A. Then maybe I can ask them how and where they acquired their hours of direct patient care experience.

2. Clean my room THOROUGHLY. No exceptions, no excuses, my room is going to be one hundred percent spic and span. Not an ounce of anything I don't need.

3. Fill out FAFSA. This is very, very important, and perhaps I can get daddy to file taxes early so that I can get it done as early as possible.

4. Apply for Scholarships. This needs to be done before December is even out, because there are a few with deadlines of Dec. 31st. Essay ones. Those are the best.

5. Work on my stories. Aurora Bourealis has got to be at the top of my list. Besides that, I've got to add at least one more chapter to The Mystical, and I'm hoping to get the word count of my new story (still untitled) up to 10,000 so that I can post it on inkpop. =)

6. CATCH UP ON SLEEP!! This is vital. It is vital to my health, my wellbeing, my physical and mental states of wellness....I'll go to bed no later than eleven. Seriously. No late night movie watching. If I want to watch a movie, it's got to go on by 9pm the latest.

7. Practice my instruments. Goals. I need goals for this one. My goal is: On the piano, I want to be able to play (flawlessly...or...almost) What I've Done by Linkin Park, and Fur Elise (at least the first movement). I also must practice my own songs. On the guitar, my goal is to learn to play Brighter Days by Leeland, and I must practice my own songs as well. However, on the guitar, first I must learn the scales and the notes.

I also must learn at least seven new chords. (On the guitar and piano, each).

8. Finish reading the New Testament before New Years. This is VIP. Very. VERY VERY VIP.

Alright. I've got my bio lab practical on Monday afternoon, and well, lots of studying to do. I'll chat with you more later.

P.S. There's a lovely new show (okay, it's not new, it's older than I am) that I've fallen for called Doctor Who. It's a British Sci-fi comedy/thriller that's just scintillating! =)

Your scintillating bio student,

~Cahryn K.

Day Thirty-Nine: Almost There!!

Hi there! Today's day thirty nine!

And I'm very, very proud to say, I haven't had any more slipups!!! =D
YAY!!!

Tomorrow is the last day of my forty-day fast, and I feel accomplished. I'm not there yet, but I'm so happy to know that it can be done, and by me!

It's also going to be nice to be able to eat during the daytime, lol.

But I can see how I've grown. It used to bother me to have food nearby when I was fasting, but now, I can have food, open, right under my nose, and be surrounded by people eating and it doesn't even faze me.

Proof: It was the second to last week of the Love Feast at church, where a family cooks each week for seven weeks for the entire church, and I finally stayed for it, because I wanted to get to spend some time with Christina, and so I sat at the table with everyone around me eating, but all I was doing was talking. Then Lisa noticed that I wasn't eating, nor did I have a fork. So she offered me one, and said "Ohmigosh, I'm sorry, you don't have a fork, so you can't eat!"

Lol.

So I declined politely and said that I was saving the food for later, and of course everyone wanted to know why, so I said because I'm fasting, and Raequette looked SO surprised; she asked "But how can you just sit there with the food in front of you, and you're just staring at it! Aren't you tempted?"
So I thought about it (for the first time, actually) and realized, no, it didn't tempt me. I'd gotten used to it.

I know I'm fasting, I know I can't eat, and so, no biggie. But I'm very glad that God has helped me to get through this thus far.

In other news, I'm about to declare an English minor!!!! WHOOOOOOPEEEEEE!
I'm so excited about that. I realized that I have enough English classes (and I'm taking two more as DECs next semester) that I'll only need two more and then I'll have completed all the requirements for an English minor. And then, I just get my GPA up a little bit higher (which the English classes will help me to do) and I know my English GPA is great, and I'LL BE ABLE TO GET INTO THE ENGLISH HONOR SOCIETY!!!!
How uh-may-zing is THAT?

I love God.

He rocks.

I also really like Stellar Kart. Lol. Random, I know, but not so much, really. I happen to be listening to them right now on my iPod. *bops head*

I also really like Doctor Who. It's a British sci-fi mystery series with an alien Time Lord known only as The Doctor....he time travels and solves all sorts of crazy alien mysteries. I loves it!!

Okay, time for me to go now...must get some sleep!!

See you later!!
Your stellar time traveler,
~Cahryn K.

Day Thirty: It's been a while

I know, wow, I'm back.

You probably thought I fell off the face of the earth.

Well I've got news for you: the earth doesn't have a face. So how would I fall off it? =P

I'm still tired. Even more so...I also have my 12-time-a-year-visitor and I'm just a little bit irritable.

Just a bit. (Read: a whole frigging lot).

Lots of things haven't been working out for me, namely: technology, study time, physics, nor anything worthwhile in general.

Here's an example: I had a Cell Signaling midterm today. On saturday I went to the mall to buy a pillow, because they had a sale (which I missed, so I had to pay full price($12) for one and get the other for $1 instead of each for $3.99), and I took all my cell signaling lecture notes and put them in the bag I was bringing so I could study while I was traveling. Well, the bus was full on the way there, so I had to stand squished and didn't get to study, and my hands were full on the way back, so I didn't get to study, and then today came, and I grabbed my folder containing the notes and shoved it in my bookbag haphazardly as I dashed madly out of the house to catch the bus.

One little problem.

The notes were not in that folder. They were in my other bag, nestled snugly in a corner on my bedroom floor.

I discovered this while I was sitting in the Traditions Lounge at my school, wracking my brain for a reason as to why there were only BIO 201 notes in my folder.

Yeah. Such has been my life as of late.

My fast is going splendidly, and by splendidly I mean I've only got ten more days to go and hallelujah. Forty days is a really, really, really long time. I screwed up um...three times, but hopefully God is merciful and I can still make this work. I mean...He can still make this work.

Today is my nephew's birthday, Little Chris. He's three now. I find that pretty hard to grasp...I mean, I remember before he was born...I remember right after he was born and he was just three days old and we went to see him and he wasn't even dark-skinned yet. (Now he's a deep chocolate).

Random subject change, I know. I miss writing. A lot. I miss reading, but I really, really, really miss writing. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go and write right now.

No, I can't. I have to do Bioportal, or start on MasteringPhysics, or something of the like. I hate school. It's always the worst the third month in....everything has just become so tedious, and it doesn't let up, neither.

*wants to cry*

So I'm going to go read a little bit of my story and perhaps write just a tad, and then do my schoolwork.

I'll talk to you again soon,

~your droopy-eyed scholar,

Cahryn K.

Day Nineteen: Only?

I'm so tired. So, so, so tired.
But what else is new? I'm tired beyond being tired. It's cold. Very.

Wanna know how cold?

It's going down to 32degrees tonight and we have to have the fans going inside the house and the windows open because idiots want to smoke. Indoors.

Gosh, I hate cigarettes and smoke and very nearly the people who smoke them. Almost.

I also hate physics, bioinformatics, uncooperative hair, and technology in general. None of it does me any good at the moment.

I must sleep, for I am on the verge of emotional oblivion.

Your emotional obliviante,
~Cahryn K.

Day Fifteen: Stupid, unreliable technology

Yes, you heard me, and that was an SM reference.

Stupid idiotic MasteringPhysics is giving me the same troubles, after a whole weekend. It's got some glitch in the system that it won't accept any answers. Pisses me off something fierce.

ANY-WAYYY.

I don't have anything else to talk about, really. I finally finished that lab report, and submitted it to SafeAssign this morning, printed out two copies, I've finished my prelab...(hmm, need to staple that)... finished the prelab for Physics, too, and well, now I'm sort of at a loss for what to do. There isn't enough time to sleep before my bio class...I only have 25 minutes before it starts. Then after that it's straight through till 5:50pm. And it's 11:21am now. Yeesh-a-beesh. Long day, eh? I know. But it's not so bad.

My friend Denia's birthday is this saturday, and on Sunday she wants to go to six flags. But, um...I doubt I'll have the money to go...especially seeing as how all sorts of bills always pile up around the end of the month.

There are a number of scholarships I would like to apply for, that fastweb.com found for me. I need the time to do the writing, though. Okay. So over Thanksgiving break, I need to complete at least two, as well as keep up on my studying.

I wonder if we're going to do a lot of cooking for thanksgiving? I know I want to try to make that cornflakes baked chicken....and we must have lasagna, because, well, we have that every year, and that's the only time I get to eat it, usually.

I'll also have to look up some really good vegetarian dishes to see if I can make them for daddy. Gosh. All this talk about food is making me hungry...quite literally. But I'll get over it. Mind over matter, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Right?

RIGHT!

I also want to keep working on my stories...by the time I finally go back on any of the websites, my readers more than deserve like, three chapters or something. I'm just realizing that school takes all or nothing, and in a way it sucks, because you've gotta let some things give. *sigh*

Maybe it really is all about time management. It's time to knuckle down.

I'll pack up and get ready for class now, so I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Or maybe...later on today. We'll see.

Your determined knuckle,

~Cahryn K.

Day Fourteen: My Life Has Been Kind of Sucky Lately

Hi.

Don't wanna talk about it.

I sort of screwed everything up. Not with the fast...no, that's going fine. I'm also getting skinnier, my added bonus. But everything besides that sort of really sucks.

Lets talk about fun stuff.

Saturday night I went on a trip to a corn maze with the Photography club and learned how to use my camera whoooo!!! Er...my dad's camera. Still whooooo! =P

I also took light painting pictures for the first time. I used film, so when I get them developed, I'll scan them and then put them up here. It was a cool trip...we left at six oclock. Okay, I lie. The bus didn't even show up until six thirty or quarter to seven. Then we drove until we were lost, (about 45 minutes) and then turned around and drove again until we found the place. It was Horbes Farm in Riverhead, L.I. So they had made it all spooky for halloween, actually, which wasn't part of the bargain. I wasn't informed of this prior to actually reaching the farm. But, I was there, it was 8pm, dark and spooky clouds, scary music playing from some sort of soundsystem, and...goblins to pop out of the cornstalks unexpected at every other turn.

Lol. It was fun. It was set up like a Lord Of The Rings story, and so we had to find a magic ring and bring it past the giant spider named Sheila, lol, and we met lots of interesting characters along the way. All of them were dressed all medieval-times looking. It was pretty cool!

Had lots of fun, finished a roll of 36pics film, met a cool freshman named Alex who takes uh-may-zing pictures, (and also travels the world every summer with an orchestra), drank hot spiced cider (which cost $3 for a little styrfoam cup), and sat out at a picnic bench and had a nice convo with Alex about pictures and apertures and bulb settings, and light photos and traveling the world and what Morocco is like compared to someplace else (and in his opinion, better), and then got back on the bus for the ride back to Stony Brook.

I got picked up from the SAC by my folks, who borrowed a car, since it was 11:00pm by the time we got back, and with this weekend's track work on the LIRR, I wouldn't have reached home until quarter to two. I'm immensely grateful for that.

Now, on friday, Mastering Physics wouldn't work, so thank God I've gotten an extension till Monday night at 10. Also, the lab report rewrite is due Monday (tomorrow) at the beginning of lab, and I've got to upload it to safeassign tonight.

In other words, lots of stuff to do. I guess I won't be watching Avatar after all, tonight.

See you later,

your spiced donut,

~Cahryn K.

Day Ten: Best Day of My LIFE!

Hiiiiiii theeeerrrrreeeee........

Guess who's uber happy? ME!

Haha! You don't know how excited I am--today has been like, the best day ever in like, forever. I'm like, grinning an ear-splitting grin (on the inside because I'm on a public train, lol), sooo happy, so, so, SO happy.

*sigh*

I'm so happy. Lol. I need to stop repeating that and tell you what happened.

So today started out with the potential to be really crappy: I could barely get up this morning, didn't want to go to school, didn't want to catch the bus in the cold, but I did, then the trains all over the LIRR were delayed, and none of the connecting trains waited, so I had to take a chartered bus to Stony Brook. Only had ten minutes before my class was supposed to start, too, by the time I got on campus. On the bright side, though, I did get a whole lot more sleep on the bus =).

Then, after my physics class, I went to the library to work on my lab report (ah, the ever-present lab report), and started fretting about what time I would go to the BLC to practice on the equipment. There was also a photography club meeting today, during campus lifetime.

So I went to that. It was ay-may-zing. I learned all about the different types of cameras and their different parts and how they work and how to make them work for you depending on what type of photo you want to take...SO COOL! I even learned how to make light paintings....where its a photo and you have these swirly laser beams of light all around. I'm so trying that.

Then after that, I went and bought a ticket for the corn field trip that'll be this saturday, where the photography club is going to take pictures. I'm SO excited about that...I pray that all will go well and I'll be able to go!

Then.

I went to the BLC.

Tried to figure out how to open up the caliper (a measuring tool sort of like a ruler). No such luck.

How embarrassing. Especially seeing as how there was a really cute emo-ish boy next to me who had to ask me if I needed help with that.... *is kind of mortified*

Anyway, I said yes, and he showed me how to do it, God bless him, and then I proceeded to try to measure a snail-shell.

Then I heard Edwin's voice. =) Lol. He's my new lab partner since we switched groups two or three weeks ago. So I was very relieved to know that someone else from my lab was there too...and then I heard him asking if the lab report was supposed to be double spaced or single. So I turned around to answer him, and he goes "Oh, hey!" Lol. Come to think of it, I never got to tell him that it's singlespaced. Eh. I must tell him tomorrow.

So then he asked me how I was doing with the practicing, and I shamefacedly admitted that I had no clue how to even open the darn thing, much less read what the measurements were. So, kind fellow that he is, he began helping me puzzle over it.

Then I looked over his shoulder and saw Chris, from group 5, standing behind him. So I had looked away, but then looked back really quickly and said "Hi," sort of upbeat and friendly, and smiled.

So he smiled and sort of nodded/waved too.

Then we were all trying to figure out the caliper's reading. Uh, not happening...so we asked a TA for help. She explained it pretty well to us, and then ....the unimaginable happened.

Let me back up here for a moment and tell you the backstory.

I used to be in group 4, with Sandy, Erlene, and Sam. On the second lab, we found out that Sam had dropped the course. So that left just us three, and we worked together splendidly. Group 5, the one behind us, contained Edwin, Chris, and two girls whose names I don't know. *sigh*

In all honesty, Edwin and Chris are my two favorite people in the lab. Edwin, because from the way he acts, you can just tell that he's a really honestly nice guy, sweet, open and friendly. Oh, and he broke his wrist a few weeks ago, poor fella. He had to have surgery last Tuesday, but that went well, thank God.

Chris is just....I've always found him attractive. To say the least. But he seems a lot quieter, and more reserved...yeah yeah....there it goes...watching from afar. Lol.

So. Come lab 5, Corey decides it'll be fun to switch up our groups. I come in a few minutes late for class, and voila, now I'm in group 6, with Edwin and a girl named Faith. Thumbs up for me, yay, I've got Edwin in my group, we get along great, and he's fun to work with.

Now, since the groups switched around, Chris and Erlene are in the same group (group 5) and they sit beside each other. Yes, I was jealous. Why? Because Erlene is perfect. She's really smart, she's pretty, she's Asian (not that that has anything to do with it, I'm just mentioning it), and I've always admired her, because she's so thorough in everything she does, and it all comes out good. I had her in my Chem 131 class last semester.

Anyway, so on top of being perfect and smart and thorough and pretty, now she gets to talk to Chris and see what type of person he is. Hmph. Besides, I thought, girls like me never get the guys they like. And if they do...well, they never do.

ANYWAY.

Back to why today has been the best day ever for me.

So. Edwin went to go find out something about something (I honestly don't remember, because what happened next totally erased all biology-related thoughts from my mind) and Chris started talking to me.

Oh gosh, I sound like a highschool girl, gushing away. But I'm really elated.

So. He got all fumbly, and said something along the lines of "Okay, I've been wanting to ask you a question, and it's going to seem weird, I know, cause...well, I remember on the first day of class when we were all introducing ourselves, you said you were writing a novel, right?"

OH MY GOODNESS. DID HE JUST SAY THAT HE NOTICED ME? Lmbo. Sorry. Had to throw that in there...it sounded so teen-novel-like, lol. Back to my story.

So, with my heart leaping around in my chest, I confirmed his suspicions. Yes indeed, I am writing a novel.

So he said "Oh, okay, because for some reason, I've just been thinking about the fact that you said that-a lot lately-and I don't know, I've been wanting to ask you about it...like, what's it about? Because that's cool, you know, and I'm interested."

Um, reader, I was flabbergasted, and just utterly bubbly. But....I had to keep that under wraps.

So I smoothly replied "Wow, thanks, I'm honored!" And then proceeded to tell him about the novel...my short synopsis. =) And he wanted to know how long I'd been working on it, and so after a moment's thought, I concluded that it's been just over a year. Actually, just over a year and a half, I'm realizing now. Yep. And he seemed quite fascinated. =D

Can we make smiley faces with HUGE smiles?????? This one doesn't do my joy justice!!! xD

Can you imagine? He actually noticed me on the first day of class, for me saying that I'm writing a novel. So cool. I feel special.

Oh, and then I was trying to get him to admit to me what he writes , because he claims it's "not much", which is poetry and short stories, and he keeps a journal...or rather, tries to, but forgets mostly all the time, and so we shared stories on that, because that happens to me forever and ever, too! Lol.

But, my dear reader, it doesn't stop there. Edwin came back from wherever in the biology universe he had been transported to and we talked with him a little bit to find out how his wrist was coming along. It's getting better, he says, it still hurts a bit, but the surgery, which was to put in a metal splint, went well.

So then we were wishing each other luck on the competency exam, which is tomorrow, and I mentioned to Edwin that I'm scheduled right after him. Then...Edwin left, and Chris and I decided to...okay, well, I asked...if we could work on the stations together. But he didn't mind, and so we figured the stuff out, and then the centrifuge was last, and we figured out how to do that too, and then showed some other girls how to balance it, and then ...oh, right. We had talked a little bit about the lab report, which he was working on then.

So while they were debating whether to align the tubes straight across or with twelve digits apart (which, by the way, is the exact same thing), I checked with him what time it was and found that it was getting close to the time that I had to catch my train; 4:17pm. So he goes, “You wanna get out of here?” So I said “Yeah,” and we packed up our things and left.

We walked together out of the building, and then happened to walk actually not so slowly over to the SAC. But when we got there, it was 4:07, and there was no way I was running for the train…last time I did that with this bookbag, it broke. That was two years ago, and daddy just fixed it two days ago.

So I asked him what he was going to do, and he said probably just get something to eat and then work on his lab report. So I said that sounded like a plan, since I wouldn’t be catching the train.

Oh, right, and when he heard I wouldn’t get the train, he said “So it’s my fault? Ugh, I kept you late…”

Lol. It wasn’t really his fault..I learned things I needed to learn. VIP things. So….yeah.

We went into the SAC and I told him he could just get whatever and not wait for me to choose since I’m fasting….and he was fascinated. Lol. He said “Really? Fasting? How come?” So I tried to explain and ….well, it was spur of the moment so I didn’t do a very good job and he said “Wait. Let me just grab a sandwich and then get out and you’ll tell me all about that.”

Oh, did I mention I sort of helped choose his lunch? Lol. There was a green tortilla tuna burrito wrap thingie…yes, green, and I was trying to figure out what made it green…but the ingredients weren’t very helpful. So he grabbed it up and said “You know what? I’ll take this. We’ll find out what it is.” Of course I was surprised, and asked “Really?” and he said “Yeah.”

I sound SO smitten. I’m not. I promise I’m not.

So then we went and sat in the food court section that’s not by the windows “since it’s quieter” (his words). And I proceeded to try to explain my reasoning behind my fast. It wasn’t easy…but he got it. And then he asked most diplomatically, “What religious sect do you identify with?” I had to laugh at that, but then just said, “Christian.” So he wanted to know if it was any particular denomination, which it’s not, and it turns out he comes from an Episcopalian background, grown up in church…he’s just, not going any more. He couldn’t really explain why, but he reasoned that it might have been because he was being forced to go no matter what, and that he got fed up.

After that, we talked about ALL SORTS OF STUFF. Um, everything from him asking me what my favorite season is (we both love fall), if I like to cook, if I speak another language, we talked about classes (found out he’s in my bio 201 class at the same time!) and he’s taking Chem 131 now (poor fellow) …his brain is fried, too. I told him about Jason’s tutoring and Solomon’s online free help, and he was more than happy (“Seriously? Oh, I love you, thanks so much!”) Lol. The latter was because I offered to give him my CHE 131 notes from Jason’s tutoring.

I hope to God I still have them…

Oh! And also, he’s going to read my story!!!!!! =D

We talked about what type of books we like to read, what type of music we like to listen to, who’s better, Biggie or Tupac (he insisted Biggie, I say Tupac) but then we came to a compromise, the Yankees (because of my Yankee’s wristbands, which he kept reaching over and touching…hm. I won’t read anything into that), found out we both like the Jets (Whoo!!), we talked about silly bands (and a cool pink one that he used to have that spelled out yankees, but broke), what countries we’d like to visit, OH! and he wants to be a surgeon, too! (A high-five was exchanged for that), he lives in Northport (not to far from Stonybrook) and I told him about my dream house that I want to buy which is there (and he knows the exact house!)…admitted, that’s a little embarrassing, somehow…he wanted to know if I like to cook, and what I like to cook, and then he wanted to know what Jamaican food is like, since he’s never tried any except for beef patties, which he loves. I finally got to ask him what nationality he is (I’ve been wondering since like, forever), and turns out he’s Mexican, Cuban, English and German. I highfived him for the German =) .

He also mentioned that he thought the reason that he was “thinking about me for the week” might be because he’d noticed a shirt I wore once, that said “I get high with a little help from my friends”, and as he puts it, that’s an “ill shirt,” lol.

Wow. He noticed my shirt.

(There I go again….)

We talked about creation vs. evolution, science vs. religion, tattoos and ear piercings and why I have none, (he has one, a really cool one, on his side, it’s a Jimmy Hendrix quote). He wanted to know where I would have gotten the tattoo had I chosen to get one, and about the Mortal Instruments Series and runes, and Of Mice and Men, and John Steinbeck, and Tale of Two Cities, and Ernest Hemingway, Alaska and his dream to compete in that race where you have the team of dogs (I forget the proper name for it)….

And then it was time for my train to come soon, and he was incredibly tired, so he went to get a coffee, we had exchanged email addresses, and I went off to catch my train, utterly elated.

Told you we talked about everything.

Anyway, so he turned out to be really cool, and I can’t believe I actually got to hang out with him. Oh, and he’s also around my height! I might be one inch taller than him…but barely. The way he’s built, if you look at him, you think he’s short, but I was quite surprised standing next to him to find that he’s quite tall. Well, average for a guy.

*sigh* I’m a happy person right now. I mean, it’s really, like, never that you actually get to talk to somebody who you were noticing, only to find out that they actually noticed you, and for something nice, too, like the fact that you’re writing a novel. Plus, he mentioned that he’d noticed my shirt, and liked it. And he said more than once that he “Liked It.” Lol.

I’m just in …such a blissful mood right now…sort of ecstatic. Really cool. Happy!!! Yay!!! And he said that he felt honored when I asked if he’d like to read the story. =)

*sighs blissfully*

I’ve got to go do my MasteringPhysics now…it’s less than two hours til it’s due. I’ll tell you tomorrow how life went!! =)

Peace, love, and Yankees bracelets,

Your happy biostudent,

~Cahryn K.

Day Nine: Happy Birthday, Big Bro!

So. I missed school today, because I was so tired that I couldn't get up.

Whoops.

On a better note, today is my older brother's birthday. He turned 32. So we called him up and wished him a happy birthday, sang for him, I talked a bit...

He seems on not so good footing with my dad...like he's sore at him for something, but what else is new?

Oh. This could have something to do with the fact that my dad didn't show up at all for Lanese's birthday (my niece).

*sigh* My family life is always so complicated and strained. It really sucks. But then again, living in general sucks, with it's occasional highlights.

Um. Fasting. It's day nine. I fell back some, not cool, but this mustn't happen again. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. Cause Jesus said so. *nods*

I'm very tired, and my lab report is kind of almost finished. I did the methods and materials, and the results, and I'm working on the discussion, and then the introduction is next.

Nothing interesting has happened, except I decorated my blog today, and made it really pretty and flowery. I like. It's quite lovely.

Anyway, it's late, though not as late as usual, but I'm sooo taking this opportunity to get some extra sleep.

Good night, your repentant fluff,

~Cahryn K.

Day Eight: Soooo sleepy...

Hi. LIfe is so often tough. I also like how I'm writing this in white, because it looks invisible; white ink on a white background. I just have to be careful with my spelling and typing, since I can't see if I've made any mistakes.

I've got an exam for lab tonight (who gets exams in LAB?) Mom is here with me, and she wants us to spend the night on campus. I just really want to go home. But that's not making much headway against her plan. *sigh*

The fasting's going well so far. No complaints. Wow. What would I have to complain about? *shakes head* Anyway, um, it's six thirty nine now, and my exam is at eight thirty, so.....yeah. Today is day eight, I think.

I'm sooo tired. I soooo got like, 2 and a half hours of sleep last night. Not cool.

Anyway, I feel like I might be making typos now, so....see you. I'll maybe add more later.

Your tired pillow-craver,

~Cahryn K.

Day Five: Early, Muffinated, and Crunched for Time.

Hi. I know I said I would blog in the evenings, but this is about my progress and how stuff goes, right?

There. That's my excuse.

It's only 2:08pm, and I'm huuuunnnngggrrryyyyy. *sigh* Ugh.

Besides that, I wanted to go to bible study at 2:30, but now I can't, because I have to go to the BLC and practice for the competence exam instead. LIFE SUCKS BUTT, SOMETIMES.

I also have to do MasteringPhysics, and the Results section of my lab report rewrite, and clean my room. The first and the last have to be done before 9pm tonight. Because I can't clean my room until I've finished MasteringPhysics, and Ms. Sylvia is coming to stay by us tonight, and she's getting here at nine, and so therefore, I've gotta have my room spic and span. (Wishful thinking). But at the very least, organized and decent, no piles of clothes everywhere like it is right now.

I want to GO HOME!!!! =(

I probably won't get any time to blog later, so this is my blog for today.

Your muffin crunched for time,

~Cahryn Vanilla K.

Day Four: Brrrrr......

I'm tired of these posts not coming out in the color that I want them to. Grrr.

It's the end of day four. I'm a little exasperated with myself. Although I'm proud that I made it through the day with only an apple, I'm frustrated that I keep on losing focus.

I guess fasting doesn't really help with focus after all. That sucks.

And now my dad's mad at me, which generally puts me in a foul mood. And he's grumpy over dinner again--or rather, the lack thereof. But the stupid thing is, dinner is cooked. It's just not warm. And if we would have bought a darn microwave years ago, we wouldn't be having this problem every night.

I'm supposed to be working on my lab report rewrite. I'm going to do that now, and check in here occasionally.

It's gotten very cold all of a sudden. And while I'm not exactly complaining, because it's nice not to be hot and sweaty with poofy hair, it rains every other day (literally) and so the poofy hair sticks around anyway...now it's just cold and rainy. Kind of like a certain town in the northwest I'd like to visit.

*sigh* I haven't done much reading lately. Now I miss it. *sighs again*

I need to get my winterclothes washed. But we have like, no money. It sucks to be poor.

I shall do the Audible. ;-) *puts on fancy lady voice* "Audible dot com. Music that speaks to you, wherever you are!"

Be back later!

*time passes*

*sings* Anytime you feel alone put on your headphones/love, love is coming through your headphones! Loooo ooo ooo oo oove, is coming through your headphones! ^_^

"hands up like a rollercoaster, this love is taking over, take your time oh...gravity we'll defy it, cause we were made for flying, we're about to lose control, WELCOME TO THE SHOW!!!"

I heart Britt Nicole

8:24pm

Hey! That thing that's been puzzling me for the past 3 hours ...concentration of a solution..I've finally got it figured out! I'll do it like a percent, like Corey said I could. At least now I get it, lol.

What do you get if you chop an avocado up into 6.0 x 10^23 pieces?

Guaca-mole. Haha. =)

Odd. Random. Moments. Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I could have had the chance to see Hilary Duff, because she was in the Barnes & Noble in Carle Place signing books...she's written a novel called Elixir. And Carle Place is on the train route on my way to school...but I didn't have time to go nor money to buy her book. =(

*sigh* Such is my life.

9:23pm

I'm done with the Materials and Methods section of my lab report. Gosh, I'm so tired. Like, really, really tired. Actually doing work with the brain tires you out right quick!

I'm listening to Thousand Foot Krutch right now. Nice soundtrack to work to--it's fantastically un-mellowly mellow. It's kind of harsh, with crazy beats and insane guitar solos, but the overall effect is mellow. Just how I like it. =) Perfect for studying...it becomes a background audio, not distracting you with hopping dance beats or catchy loud phrases.

Thank God for them.

I just have to figure out how to do the Name-Year reference and do it for the one spot now, and then I'm going to work on my prelab until I fall asleep in front of the computer, lol.

Good night.

Peace, love, and joy to the world for Christmas is on its way,

~your sleepy sweet, Cahryn K.

Day Three: Looking Up

And so, here I am. It's the third day of my fast, and so far, so good.

I got my "visitor" yesterday night, but thanks to keeping myself doped up on generic advil ever since Saturday morning, I've gotten by with little to no pain at all. Thank God.

I also went to my instructor Corey's office hours in the Bio Learning Center this afternoon to discuss my lab report with him and turn in my isopods for extra credit, and that went along smoothly too. Apparently my isopods were midgets, though. He said I only had three good-sized ones...the rest were really too small to do anything with, but since he saw I tried, he went along with the twenty that I found and he'll give me 8 points. =)

And brilliant news: THERE IS NO PLAGIARISM!!! HAAAALLLEEELLLUUUJJJAAHHH!

He only wrote that on my paper because I had forgotten one --ONE-- spot where I ought to have placed a reference, and he wanted to make sure I didn't forget in the rewrite. Yeesh. Coulda given a sister a heart-attack, you know. *shakes head*

Anyway, so I also found out that while the class average for the first Cell Signaling midterm was 80, I got a 56. Hmph. I THOUGHT I did well...guess not. But all that will change.

I can see how this fast will help me with so much...It's going to help me get on the right footing with God, which is its main purpose, and an added benefit should be that I lose a bit of weight ;-), as well as the fact that since I'm not doing anything other than schoolwork (and the occasional blog), I can focus on the things that are important. Like studying for the tests that I'll be having every single week up until Thanksgiving break.

Yeah. I said wow, too. It'll be hard work, but I'm actually somewhat looking forward to it. Contrary to popular belief, I actually do like to learn. And study...just not...math.......or chemistry. But other stuff, yes!

And I also happen to enjoy taking tests. Heh. Maybe I'm weird. But uh.....so. This boy who sometimes sits next to me in physics, named Su Deng (that says it all right there) got a 95 on the physics midterm. And he doesn't even take notes in class. Just sits there with his clicker and answers the questions, and then goes home and does the MasteringPhysics homework.

*shakes head* It's people like him who mess up the curve.....but at the same time, that's great for him, that he can actually manage that. At least he's friendly and helps me in class.

So, what I'm going to be doing is blogging (or trying to blog) every evening before I go to bed to fill you in on the day's events and the progress I'm making. This is the first time in my life that I'm attempting anything like this...the extent of my fasting up until now was a three-hour fast here, a five-hour one there...I used to be terrified of them! I once went one week refraining from buttered toast (don't laugh) because the pastor wanted us to give up something that we did often or every day just to practice self sacrifice.

I was miserable.

It went without saying that I had to lose the toast, because I don't watch tv, play video games, I hardly read novels during the schoolyear....and well, what else was I supposed to fast from? I tried school--haha. Didn't cut it with my folks.

Anyway. So, point is, this is my first time with a fast this major. No food 9am-5pm daily, (I only permit myself a coffee or hot chocolate during the day since I'm not used to this yet), no facebook, no twitter, no aim (not that I do that anyway) NO STORY WEBSITES, GAH, and things of the like. And all this for forty days straight. No excuses.

I'm actually very proud of myself that even with my "visitor" I was able to hold out and not eat any food from nine this morning to well...it's 4:42pm now. I nearly caved a few times, but I managed it. Now I know I can do anything!

I've got to finish my MasteringPhysics homework..I have a few questions left--I worked on it earlier today (yay me!). I also worked hard on revising my lab report last night, and I'm quite pleased. I made sure I understood the purpose of the experiment and what was done and WHY. And I showed it to Corey, who said "Good, this is good." SO! (^_^) Color me happy and draw me a smile!

Anyway. Off to the homework now. Cause we're smart like that.

Your smart cookie,

~Cahryn K.

What A Day....

Oh, my, dear.

I am having SUCH a hard day.

Just...wow. I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but I've been busy not being busy when I was supposed to be busy and then being wayyy over busy when I didn't have the time to be so busy.

A vicious cycle.

And now, I apparently picked the wrong train car to sit in, since a crowd of really loud, really obnoxious, really....annoying.....ghetto - sounding people have sat themselves upstairs from me. And in the bottom level here, we have some person playing a computer game on their laptop complete with sword-sounds chinking and little plings every time they get a point.

Life.

And I've got homework to do.

Oh, but that's not all. I got back my lab report today for biology, and would you believe I've been accused of plagiarism???? Plagiarism. Of all the bloody things....

And the stupid SafeAssign, which is a computer program that we have to upload our papers to in order for it to check our work against databases on the internet, is the one who has decided that I plagiarized.

God knows I didn't mean to!

It was probably something I forgot to cite....some stupidness. Oh snarfopodderrrrrrrr! Ugh! As if it wasn't bad enough that I only got a 36 out of 100, then got 10 points taken off because it was FIVE minutes late...and so it counted as a whole day late.

Son-of-a-snarfopod.

Omg. I want to cry.

I don't cheat on tests!!!! How on earth would I plagiarize on a paper???

And the thing is, the Academic Judiciary has been notified, cause that's protocol, and they take these things so seriously. I mean, with good reason, but I didn't mean to !!! OH MY GOD WHAT SHALL I DOOOO??

Pray, of course.

I mustn't cry. I'm on a train. I mustn't cry. I will not cry. I will not.....

I hate the way life goes sometimes. Really, really hate it.

*Sigh*

I'm doing a forty day fast. No food from 9-5, no facebook, no story websites, the like. But I need blogger.com . I need some way to vent, or I'll go mad.

I'm going to do my homework now, alright? Talk to you later. Maybe tomorrow evening after I've finished my homework.

Oh, the good news is, we get a rewrite on the lab report. Also, I got an 82.3 on my first Bio 201 exam.

I also cut my hair by myself for the very first time on October 1st. It came out looking lovely...it's all punky now. =)

Other than that, I'll be getting a Snoopy that dances for Christmas, and maybe a pair of drumsticks. I've also learned to twirl drumsticks through my fingers and I've improved greatly at the drums. *sigh*

See? There is some good in life yet......

Many loves and kisses,

~Cahryn K.

A Poem I Wrote In The Middle Of The Night

The Inked Heart

They do not understand
They cannot understand
The night sky falling beneath my fingers
Dark clouds illuminated by the light of a lone star
As I trace the pattern of a slumbering world

They will not understand
They would not understand
The shape of a sound breaking over water
Curved melodies snaking around my waist
As I eke out the rhythm of a beating heart

They shall not understand
They'll never understand
The form of a vowel upon the point
Upon the sharp point of ink and graphite
Upon the sharp point of wit and tongue

It is mine
It is mine alone, and yet it is ours
It belongs to us

But I understand, you understand
Yes, we live to understand
The beauty of the unwritten, unspoken, uncreated
It is true, I live to understand
The pattern that is inked upon my living, beating heart.

~Composed 7-31-2010

I Have Returned

Only to leave again. Be back soon.

Later, Mr. Annihalator.

*scratches head in confusion and heads off to class*

Rhythm of the Rain, Rhythm of the Heart

Ting mikyun! Katot taftxu oel, tompaya kato, txe'lanya kato!

That's Na'vi for "Listen! I weave the rhythm, rhythm of the rain, rhythm of the heart!"

*smiles* I do so enjoy that movie....Avatar. It's seriously a great movie. And the language is real. Oe nume u. (I'm learning it.)

I've even adopted a name in it: Oeru syaw Tiyawn Iknimaya. That means "My name is Tiyawn Iknimaya."

Tiyawn means love, and Iknimaya means stairway to heaven. So basically, my name is the statement: Love is the stairway to heaven.

Anyhow...Mommy finally managed to "play" the clarinet I bought her for Mother's Day. At the very least, she's finally getting some noise out of it.

We're all so excited for her.

But what was not expected, and least of all by me, was that I would be the one to learn to play songs on it first; and within the first day of picking it up. I can play maybe seven songs on it: When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder, Take A Grip, Meet Me By The River, Amazing Grace, The Man From Galilee, and maybe three others that I can't remember the names of any more since this blog was stupid (or maybe I was) by pressing the backspace key just long enough to delete all the songs I had written out...and then my memory decided to try and fail me. But ah well. God is Lord through it all. Thank You Jesus.

So. I've had a great day today; Ms. Hyacinth Hutchinson came over to pick up some bread but stayed and visited with us for a bit while we all tried to make squeaky noises on the clarinet--we had a blast and nearly choked laughing so hard at the faces we had to make in order to get a decent sound out. =)

So. I'll be finishing up cleaning my room tomorrow, and I've got to keep on working on my works....you know about those. *winks*

So, irayo for everything, and God ngahu.

(Thanks for everything, and God be with you).

Love, Tiyawn Iknimaya.

Pretty Pink Poison

I'll come back and edit this later; I just wanted to have it down so I didn't forget. I'm going to make it into a song.

=P A rock song.

"With her pretty pink poison"

"because you love her pretty pink poison"

Ends with: "and you were killed by (in breathy tone) her pretty pink poison".

Cram Time

I'm really glad I chose a dark background for my blog. It allows me to use so many different colors to type in depending on my mood.

Anyway, I've got a final for Microbiology tomorrow, and I have been doing a bit of studying...I need to do more, though. I always need to do more; I never do enough of anything good. I do too much of things that aren't good, though, but then, shucks. I don't know. I just want to change for the better.

It's a quarter past eight now, and I need to focus. My mom has this thing she calls "forced focus," which works some of the time, but not all of the time. It's best if you're reading or something like that: you just don't allow yourself to look up and around. But when you've gotta study, it's just infinitely more difficult.

I really can't wait for these stupid tests to be over with. They're so.........frustrating. I tell you, as soon as they're done with, I'm going to have an entire day to watch movies, an entire week to just WRITE; work on my stories--all of them--I need to update and get further on The Mystical--and then like another week to clean. I'll be starting summer classes on July 13th, and well, oh, right.

I've got so much to do. I need to make a buttload of money this summer, because my tuition bill is not, in fact, $1400 and change, but rather flipping $1596, which is very blasted near sixteen hundred. And I don't know for sure yet how much financial aid I'll be getting, so I definitely need to help offset that cost for my dad. Especially since I'm such a disappointment all the time.

I've got to stop being such a failure. I can't be that any more. In the words of Mark, from American Movie, "Now is the time not to drink and dream, but create and complete."

I don't know why I can't make myself do what's necessary.

Sometimes I feel like if I were on my own, somehow I would be able to do all these things. Because I would have to, you know? But I really don't know what to make of myself.

You know what? Screw this. I'll figure myself out later. Right now, I've got to understand the freakin' lytic cycle of a virus, and know what the hesey is the difference between that and the lysomatic or whatever it is cycle.

*growls and grabs hair*

Your very irked muffin,

Cahryn.

Melody of the String...eh...Spring.

It's a lazy evening in late spring, and it's finally warm. These past few days...about a week and a half--have been rather cold, unseasonably so. But now it's finally warming up.

Actually, today was a bit uncomfortably warm, but that could be just me since I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt pushed up to my elbows and long jeans. *thinks* Yeah. That could just be me.

Anyway (and it would seem that I can't do a single blog/journal entry without including the perpetual "anyways") I've decided what I'm going to do to earn money to help pay for my summer tuition fee. It's an insane $1,449. and change, and I'm going to be getting round about $425 from a Pell Grant...I don't know yet what'll come through for TAP. But back to what I'm going to do to help offset the cost.

I'm going to play my guitar in the subways.

And I'll have the guitar case open by my feet for donations, with a sign reading that donations will go towards paying my college tuition fee. *sighs*

Oh, I have Friday evening church service to go to now...so I'll most likely be back later and finish up all what I had planned to say.

Many hugs and hearts,

Cahryn.

Just Another Long Day

Good morning!

The only reason I'm bubbly is because I'm blogging. Yes. I'm blogging. *giggles* So right now I'm in my bio class, and unfortunately today is one of my long days--I won't be reaching home tonight before around nine-thirty. =(

And I got up at five this morning. Sucks bad, eh?

I soooo didn't want to get up, but my mom came in my room three times and forced me to get up the last time, and she sounded rather hysterical; (and I quote) "It's the last class, you have to go, you'll miss all the important things for the final, because it's the last class...yada yada.."

Now, what she failed to realize was that this is, one, not the last class, and two, we're learning arbitrary stuff now..winding down. In chemistry we learned about the importance of water and purification. No hard-core stuff. Here in bio we're talking about stem cell research...although, I admit Prof. Erster has somehow managed to make her lecture sound like it will probably be on the final......*frowns*

Is there anything interesting I have to say? Not really. Well, okay. I've just learned this: stem cell research works in mice, but not in primates..interesting. I suppose I'll check out www.ScientificAmerican.com/interactive later on. iPS stants for "induced pluripotent stemcells". Basically, you take an adult cell in culture and then genetically modify it in the laboratory and turn it back into a stem cell by introducing a minimal number of proteins, which are transcription factors that basically reverse all growth and returns them to stem cell stage, where they have the potential to be differentiated into lots of different cell types.

That's actually pretty cool, if you can excuse the run-on sentence. =D And it actually works.

Wow. God wasn't kidding when He said nothing would be impossible for us...

So..randomly. My mom gave me a chicken cup noodle soup and it turned out to be the spicy kind. *fans drooling mouth* I suppose I neglected to mention that I only like plain chicken vegetable cup noodle soups. Eh. I was hungry, so it was good.

I found a really good fanfic on ff.net from the Mortal Instruments Series. Most of the ones I looked at before only were set within the actual setting of the original story, and their writing wasn't all that good...so I didn't like them. But this one is all human; no demons or warlocks or shadowhunting, just a brooding, sarcastic, hot, soccer/piano/guitar-playing Jace and brokenhearted artist Clary who become next door neighbors and (I'm guessing) will eventually fall in love. It's really well written.

And I recommend it.

Eh, I suppose I'll pay attention in class now...talk to you later!

your mushroom, Cahryn.

I'm a Blogger!!!

So today is the day I begin.

The day I begin my life as an online blogger.

I couldn't be more excited!

So. A bit about me. I'm twenty one years old, a junior in college and I love to read, write, and make music. In that order.

I also love biology, animals, stars, and M'n'Ms. And of course God, my family, and my lovely furballs Topaze and Munch-Munch. (The latter two being a cat and a guinea pig).

Right now, I'm very, very tired, and have a physiology exam coming up in two days, which I haven't done an ounce of studying for...so I'm going to sign off for now and get some rest, but you can bet your nose I'll be back and blogging away as though my life depended on it.

Peace, love, and honey bunches of oats....

Your mushroom Cahryn.