throw all five away

So I want to know why he keeps contacting me.

Is it because he wants to remain friends? And I don't?

Is it because he never could take no for an answer? That's not true. It just sounded cliche, and I felt like using it.

Is it because I'm a great person and he can't stand to be without me? Hah. Clearly not.

Then why? Does he want answers? Answers to what? I didn't get them when I needed them, so he can certainly learn to do without.

It must be because I usually give in and respond. I'll answer a text or a phone call, albeit days later, because I'm worried that something might have happened - that he might need me. And then I'd want to be there. You don't just throw away five years of friendship.

Except you can.

And I'm choosing to.

I'm back!

And it is so good.

I was just thinking how my entire old circle of friends/acquaintances is now gone...how I'm now kind of cut off from them...just...isolated.

And then I go sit down on a bench outside and who finds me but my buddy from a year ago!

I feel better now.

I never thought I needed people, but the past year has taught me that they are invaluable. Especially the good ones.

I'm loving being back. Learning in a structured setting is something that I've been doing for so long, for such a large portion of my life, that not having it to balance out the rest of my activities has been difficult.

But I'm back, and it's a lot of work, and it promises to be more, but....hey. Life is work. In a good way, mostly.

Luv ya.