Post Interview Adrenaline

I DID IT!

I just conducted my first phone interview!!!

And I didn't spontaneously combust or sneeze or belch or anything equally dreadful...and the lady who I interviewed, the coordinator for the lecture series, was SO helpful and sweet.

I'm so glad my first experience went well. Honestly. So glad.

Alright. Well, I've got a full schedule today, so, I'm off to shower and get started on the outdoors portion of my day.

Toodles!

Interviews and Cocoons

So...

I'm about to conduct my very first phone interview in exactly fifteen minutes.

And I'm scared. Well, nervous. Well....jittery.

Yeah. Jittery describes it well.

You know, sometimes I think about letting him read this blog...I know he really wanted to. But then I think to myself...I need one thing that's private. One place where I can wrap myself in a cocoon and be who I really am. Actually express myself.

Maybe one day. Maybe when .... maybe. But for now, no.

This interview is for my journalism class; I've been assigned to cover a speech, and I need to gather background information on it. And I can't just do that through Google. Nooooooo. Heaven forbid.

I actually have to talk to people.

So, I've downloaded a voice recorder app on my cell phone, written up a list of questions, emailed several potential sources and gotten confirmations from a few, and I've just landed my first interview.

I think I may have preferred a face-to-face conversation.

Ah well. It's time to go hard or go home.

Here goes....everything I've got.

Wish me luck.

Gotta fix my skin.

Gotta take care of my hair.

Gotta work out and get my body at its top quality.

Gotta make time for all this.

Hospital, day 5

 Ah the troubles of family.

When people react instead of responding, when long days and even longer nights take their toll, and tempers run shorter than a dynamite fuse.

This is my life lately.
It's what? Day four in the hospital? Or day five? I don't know, I've lost count.

My mother had a procedure done this afternoon to insert tubes into her kidneys, because the left one is blocked. She was in such pain when she got back from recovery, but at least now she's feeling better.

I don't like nights.
Nights are the worst. Everybody is tired, everyone gets cranky, incessant beeping noises of strange machines threaten to make my brain explode. . .

My mother is especially difficult at night. I honestly don't know why.
And I'm so tired (still didn't get a lick of homework done today) but on the bright side, he's going to be here tomorrow.

Yep. Him.

He's leaving after work at around six in the morning...or possibly before that if he can get off his shift earlier, and driving straight here to New York.

Neither of my parents know this.

I've covered my back though - I spoke to the landlord today and asked whether it would be alright for a friend to spend a few days with us, and he said he didn't mind at all.

So basically, it's kind of supposed to be a surprise for my mom and dad; they haven't seen him in a very long time... only since July, but still.

Okay I admit it.
I didn't say anything to them because I didn't want to give them a chance to say no, don't come.

So he's coming, and this should be good. Or great. I hope.

My dad took tomorrow off from work, so it actually works out perfectly because he said I can go home tomorrow, which means that I'll be there to meet him when he arrives in New York.

Hooray.

I'm sitting out in the hallway right now, getting some fresh air (as fresh as air inside of a hospital can be, anyway). There's a window here with a beautiful view of the city at night. I can't wait to show it to him when he arrives.

But I needed to get out of there. Tensions were running high, and I just. . .

I had to.

Then I feel bad because the nurses came and brought a more comfortable chair for me to be able to sleep in the room with my mom and dad, but I don't want to go back in there now.

I'm going to get up real early and go home and clean up a bit more, and fix my sheets and spread up my bed. I'm going to let him sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch when he comes. He's staying till Tuesday.

Then I'm going to do some freaking homework. Gosh.

Good night.

Hospital, day 3.

I am SO tired. So, so, so very tired.

There is no such thing as getting comfortable on one of those chairs that they park next to the hospital beds. There really isn't.

This is my mother's third night in the hospital, and I spent last night here with her.

I started out wanting to write a whole lot more about my experience here, but by the time I've finally gotten a chance to sit down and write, I'm so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open.

I just want to sleep.

The Songbird

winds howl
and rattle the dried bones
of the songbird

that lay crumpled in a sad grey heap
beneath the sad grey sky

a lone feather
whips back and forth
caught between a joint
where two sinews once connected.

it is a small feather.

the wind almost gives it life
animatedly tearing it to and fro

this dusty, battered feather that clings
to the last scrap of flesh
that once covered the larynx

the place from where beautiful music
once flowed.

now the clattering of stale bones
give their own music

a somber song
reminiscent of the chattering of teeth
as a small child trembles beneath the covers

alone in the dark.

it's been so long.

It's been much too long since I blogged on here.

I need it again. It seems like I need it every spring.

I went to Cincinnati...and I loved it. I loved every moment of it. I experienced so much there...that I can't begin to write it all down. At least not yet.

I'm confused now, two months later, but that's another story that's connected to the first.

I think I'm going to try out the hippie lifestyle. Not for the dressing, but for the philosophy of it. I need to be happy, at peace, non-judgmental. Plus their styles of dressing and fixing the hair are awesome, but that's really not the point.

I need to focus on the here-and-now. I've been looking so far into the future and imagining it as if it's happening now that I've lost sight of what's going on at this point in my life.

I've lost sight of the steps I need to take to even get to my future.

I have to analyze things the way they are now, and do what needs to be done now, in order for things to work out a few months/years down the road.

I might even be on the wrong road right now, but I don't know this for certain, so I won't comment on it yet. It bothers me, though. A lot.

This spring is going to consist of the biggest life changes for me, ever. I'm growing up this spring, I think.

And this will be a good thing.

I think.