Sunday, April 9, 2017

boyfriends, lol

This evening I was thinking about how many exes I've had.

Not sure why, except I was trying to figure out who I actually had feelings for versus who was just...there.

Let's see. There was Claude, in sixth grade. He was my first boyfriend. I asked him out, and he took three days to make up his mind. He used to bring me Baby Bottle Pop candies on Thursdays, and we never kissed. That relationship lasted three months, until he broke up with me one day in Literature class because "we never do anything." Eh. That was interesting.

Then there was that guy Christopher, who I couldn't stand, in seventh grade. I honestly have no idea how that relationship started, ended, or anything. Nothing ever happened there either. I really didn't like that guy. I used to kick him a lot. In the balls. Uh, sorry?

The summer between middle school and high school I met a boy at sleep away camp named Dorian. We called him Dee, and he was adorable and had the cutest smile with braces. All the girls in my cabin had a crush on him, but he chose me for some reason. He was also two years younger than me. That pretty much fizzled out a few weeks after we went back home.

Not sure exactly when...but I know I was fifteen. I dated a guy I met at church named Calvin (heh heh, I know, right?) and we had an "open relationship." I never took advantage of that (at least I don't remember doing so) but I know he did...I remember my friend Tiffany coming to me in shock and going "Your boyfriend just tried to kiss me!" Funny how I didn't care.
He has twins now, I heard. A wife too, I think.

Tenth grade there was Jean Paul. I didn't deserve him. Our relationship lasted over the summer from the end of ninth grade into the beginning of tenth. He told me he was falling in love with me. I cheated on him and then broke up with him. I wouldn't have broken up with him had it not been for a church member telling me that I had to...I didn't want to take communion because I had a boyfriend and wasn't allowed to. She told me to go take care of whatever I had to and make sure I was ready to take communion next time. So I dumped him. I still regret breaking his heart to this day...even though years later we talked again and I explained why. We're on good terms now, although we haven't spoken in years. That was my first real relationship.

Eleventh grade. Hmm. There was Stevie. I can't remember for sure if his real name was Steven...I think it might have been. I met him on Sconex, the social media website that connected high schoolers around the country. He lived in Brooklyn, and I spent one incredibly hot summer afternoon (was it summer? Or late fall?) wandering through the streets of Brooklyn (lost) trying to find Schenectady Avenue. Boulevard? No wonder I got lost. He loved drama, and used to try to pick fights with me by saying I was insecure. Never worked, lol. I'm not a person who likes to argue. That relationship lasted three months as well...once we met in person, we both agreed that we weren't actually attracted to one another. My friend Nia started to date him after me.

After him there was another Steven, except it was spelled Stefan? Stephen? Stephan? I think it's the last way. My secret nickname for him was Sekaj, because those were his initials. My even more secret nickname for him was Starer, which was what my high school bestie and I called him. We had weird nicknames for most of the guys in our school...Yellow Shirt, Starer, Pasta, Duck, Free Porn...the list goes on. Starer was a complete jerk. He was a year older than me, and basically just used me. He used to ask me for money, and I gave him about $200. I also spent like $60 on a hoodie for him for Christmas. To top it off, he tried to steal my phone, and then stopped talking to me and started fooling around with my teammate from volleyball. She was terribly apologetic once she found out, but eh. Hey. I wasn't mad at her. She didn't know. And he was a dick, anyway. I ran into him on the Ave maybe a year later, and he acted like he didn't know me. I still have the stuffed dog he gave me for valentine's day. It's cute.

The next one is the infamous Lee. The name all my friends know and hate. I lost my virginity to him a few months after I started college. Then he cheated on me on my birthday, and I decided to completely cut him off. I contemplated vandalizing his car. Never did it.

I haven't had an official boyfriend between him and now. Although there was that pseudo-relationship. But anywhoo. Isn't that kind of sad? Or maybe it's not. Maybe it means I'm strong and independent. Or just jaded and fearful.

I'm really not sure which.

The point of all this was...I never actually had feelings for any of them except the pseudo-relationship and this one now, with Cal.

Hm.

Well. We'll see how it goes.







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