:(

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not eating again, and I'm always anxious and nervous. And sort of irritable. I think I need to pull into my shell and hide for a while.

Someone would probably say that I'm grieving but I think I may have done everything too soon. I need to go back to normal. But nothing is normal anymore, or maybe this is just the new normal. I don't like it. And I have to figure out what's going on between Calvin and me because the dynamic is kind of shifting but I don't know what the fudge it's doing.

I need to eat my Cheezits.

I also need like two days off from work. In the middle of the week. And to just go to the city. And get a tattoo or a piercing. Because that's how I deal with things. And I don't know how to deal with anything anymore.

Maybe I should go back to the non-physical aspect of the relationship...maybe that's what's bugging me and I'm not ready for it. Emotionally? Or some crap like that? Who knows? I guess I'll get through it. Somehow. Everything always comes to an end one way or another so how I feel has to end soon. Cause I can't deal with this crater in my chest 24/7.