this is just going to be a ramble

Today started out sort of crappy. Actually, I have a headache right now.

I think I did too much yesterday, woke up too early today, had too much nonsense go on at work (too much to do in too little time, and got chewed out by more than one ruffled coworker who was upset about their check...the latter of which actually showed up at my house. At least she didn't really make a scene.)

I was just so through today. So annoyed. So tired. I'm really tired right now. But I'm going to head out and help Cali do some Uber. Cause that's what friends are for. Oh, I also ran into Betsy today...and she's showing! She should be about 5 months along now, I think. Goodness. She's having a baby. I can't comprehend it.

Well...whenever my dad comes home with the rental car. My car has been in the shop for a week now; transmission troubles. It'll be so good to get mine back tomorrow.

It's funny the things you notice about people sometimes. The laugh lines around their eyes. The suntan on their forearms. The stubble on their chin. The way their nose is just a little bit crooked, but it works for their face. I notice all these things about people as I pass by them, or sit across from them on the train. All these small parts that make up the collective whole: the person.

I want to put all of that into my book.

I want to capture all of that in my photography. Maybe I'll turn to black and white photography for a little while. You always capture the soul of the person in black and white.

I want to create.

You know what sucks? The fact that I'm 27 years old and can't even provide for myself. I mean, I could have, I guess. Before my job got all unreliable and crappy. Because I was doing that and the tutoring and postmates. But honestly, right now if somehow I were to not have my dad to depend on, I could not pay rent. Not even for a room. What would I do with all the stuff we have?

That's unacceptable. And I don't know if it's worth it to go back to school. Maybe I should save up to do one semester at a time. The program is only four semesters, anyway, I think. Three semesters and a summer? No. A fall, a spring, and a summer? Or is it five semesters? I forget.

How much would I need? Could I go full time and not work? That would require me having enough money saved up for the tuition, food, bills....I can always do tutoring on the side, and postmates on the days when I'm not in class.

So full-time graduate tuition is $6,205.50 for one semester.

I can make about $560 a month with three students.