Wednesday, May 22, 2013

pre-graduation funk

There's so much. That's what I keep saying. But it's true. There's really so much.

My mom got her first chemo treatment today - at least she did it. I'm proud of her for that.

Graduation is in two days, though, well, really only one day. Because it's Wednesday night, and I have to be there bright and early at 7am on Friday morning. Thursday, we'll be spending the entire day at the hospital, first for a blood transfusion and then for her (daily) radiation treatment.

Guess who has to drive her there?

I'm not complaining about that. Really, I'm not.
But I just won't have any time to prepare myself...I look like a bum right now. Unwashed hair, I haven't shaved in like, what? Two weeks?

I'm a shallow, horrid person, aren't I?

Sigh.

I don't even feel like going to the graduation ceremony. My brother might not even be able to come.

There's really no excitement in it for me.

I'm just bummed.

I want to scream until my throat is raw and I can't scream anymore. Then I want to collapse by the side of a river and just lie there.

Never have to get up.

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