finally

He finally admitted it.

That he can't do long distance. That he doesn't think he's what I'm looking for. That he doesn't know what he's doing with his life.

That makes two of us.

At least it's all out there now. I told him I was okay, and I was, but then I cried afterwards. I cried the entire next day, in fact. Literally. Almost non-stop. The whole darn day. That was my graduation day. And then the day after that. It all sucked, really.

It's also weird that it's over. We barely talk now. Not in a bad way, I don't think, but just...I guess this is what it was like before we were "more than friends?" It's been almost a year of us talking every single day and every single night....and now, nothing.

I've hidden away from facebook and social media until I'm more or less okay. A little worse for the wear, but I don't randomly get the urge to burst into tears at the thought that there will never be a Norah Nykole. Dangit. That was a really pretty name.

Also, I did fail organic chemistry. So now I'm going to take the course at a college in the city. It's just as far of a commute as to my alma mater, but at least I can use a Metrocard and pay $5.00 round trip instead of $19.50. Also, the school looks like Hogwarts.

Literally.

We got the keys to our new place today, and went over there to look at it. I've decided not to take the attic after all, since you have to go through the master bedroom to get to it. It is realllllly nice though. But the room that I'm going to take has the most amazing closet/cupboard space I've ever seen. It reaches to the ceiling. There's room for shoes. There are WINDOWS!

Sorry, but I'm a bit excited about windows. We've spent the past two years living in a basement, and I've spent the past one year with no sunlight at all coming into the tiny window in my bedroom.

Now I'm going to have TWO windows.

Zomg.

One teeny, tiny thing.

My room is pink. -____-

Pink.

Yes. Pink. *sigh*

A weird, rosy, can't-get-any-girlier pink.

I'm too lazy to paint it, though. If I could, I would do it a mint green. I'm loving green lately. Dangit! Why pink? All the bedrooms are pink, as a matter of fact. And so is the living room and dining room. But it's okay down there, just...not....upstairs.

Oh yes!

We have an upstairs. And two bathrooms. And an eat-in kitchen. And a finished basement, which I have yet to see.

But the lighting in the upstairs bathroom (which also has a window!!!!) is amazing. Like, perfect. Like, I'm going to have the most fun ever doing makeup in there, and hello, YouTube! It's the perfect lighting for making videos. Guess my channel will be making a comeback. =)

I wonder where we'll put the fish tank. And we have a lawn out front, with a little white cast iron picket fence, and some bushes under the window...I think one of them is a flowering bush.

I have seeds for marigolds, too, that I want to plant. I have this dream of planting them with my mom.

It's really happening. It's actually happening. We're really moving in there. We have the keys. The rent is paid.

Wow.

Thanks, God.