I need a routine. I need to stay busy. Too much time alone with my thoughts and unless I'm in a great place mentally, I'll be in a horrible place within the hour. I don't deal with stress well. I multitask a lot - I'll be watching one YouTube video on my TV, another on my iPad, reading an article on my phone and alternate between cooking, cleaning and drawing or painting, approximately every fifteen minutes. My default mode is silence - I don't talk much when I'm content or comfortable. I need to go outside and physically touch nature every once in a while; pick up a stick, rip up some grass or sit on a rock near a pond or stream.
I overthink too much. Way too much. I'll overthink the good things, then project them onto someone else besides myself and start overthinking bad things.
I stand up for myself a lot more now than I used to. I let people know when I'm not okay with something they've said or done, whether it's to me or someone else. I've become obsessed with the color pink. It's kind of ridiculous, really. I take criticism very hard, even though I try not to. I try to be open and vulnerable and courageous and love. Sometimes I succeed.
I can't go too long without eating pasta. Cuddles (with Cal) are the best thing ever. I'm not as much of an adamant "paperback book only" kind of reader anymore. I might buy a kindle. I've become more swept up in the feminist/steminst/blacklivesmatter movements than I ever thought I would be.
There are more things, but for now, let's let that sit.
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