I like having an online diary.

There's something comforting about it. It's like, you can be as anonymous as you want, but there is still the chance that someone can see what you're going through and either rejoice with you or relate to your struggles.

Why do I seem to be the girl that everybody wants/ nobody wants at the same time? And yet, the one that nobody gets because she won't open up to anyone?

Sometimes I think to myself that it would be good to be single my whole entire life. That a relationship is not worth the stress and the pressure and the disagreements.

But I do want children. And I don't think I want to adopt and be a single mom, although that thought has crossed my mind more than once. But what's brought this on is that at my job, there is a guy, Carl, who is beyond aggravating.

Why is he beyond aggravating, you might ask.

Well.

I'll tell you.

The man doesn't know how to take "no, thank you," for an answer. There's a difference between being persistent and harassing someone. He's borderline harassing.

I'm not a naturally rude person. I try to be polite. But now I understand why people say that others often mistake their kindness for weakness...gosh.

He offered to drive me home yesterday. I said "no, thank you." Multiple times. When I was leaving work, he pulled up in his car and blocked my path and insisted to drive me home. I said NO, THANK YOU, have a good evening.

He decided to park his car and WALK me home.

Now I will admit, I could have stopped about a block away from home and tried to dismiss him, but that thought didn't cross my mind at that moment. So now he knows where I live. And that's scary.

Especially because he said that he wants to get to know me so he can know "how to break me down" (the freak does he mean by that? He can go screw himself, honestly) and he also asked for my number, and when I didn't give it to him, he said "I can get it, you know, but I'd prefer if you gave it to me."

I told my mom and my dad, and my dad wants me to bring him his number so he can call him and tell him to back off. I'm also going to tell both my bosses. Because it's not cool.

It makes me uncomfortable. And if it makes me uncomfortable, then it's workplace harassment.

He's been bugging me for two days straight. Like, can't you take a hint? No, I don't want you to buy me lunch. No, I don't want you to cook me dinner. No, I don't want to call or text you. No, I don't want to give you my number. No, I don't want you to be my friend.

He says that he wants to decide whether I'm the type of person he wants as a friend, or the type of person he wants to tell stories to his kids about how we met.

DON'T I GET A SAY IN WHETHER I WANT TO BE FRIENDS OR NOT?

He's seriously pissing me off. And I know I don't show it, because I'm polite, but goodness. There's a song playing on Pandora right now...the lyrics are "and the cracks begin to show."

That's how I feel right about now.

Completely just...ugh. I haven't disliked someone so much in quite some time. Yeesh. I just had to vent about this. And get it on record, because he's freaking me out.

Okay. Later.
Good night.