Art

I absolutely love this.

Secrets

I fear
I dream
I fight
myself

I wish
I hope
I burn
within

I think
I cry
I despair
sometimes

I run
I fall
I succumb
often

I want
to be
someone else
than me

but I want
that someone else
to truly
be me

I take
I take
I take
then give

I feel
more than
I see
in life

I lie
I hate
I smile
and fake

just
because
the truth
is hard

I keep
it here
my untold
angst

I want
to be
the one
who's free

Just another...

Just another picture...just another day.....still me.

let there be love...
~Cahryn K.

Let there be love - Oasis

suspended clear in the sky
are the words that we sing in our dreams
let there be love

=)

I'm going to go study...just now. Really, I am.

I just want to talk a little bit. I'm in such a good mood it's lovely. I'm listening to Pandora radio and I have it on a station I call my Civil Twilight station. I once downloaded a free song by them from iTunes and loved their style, so now I'm listening to all sorts of music that's similar.

I call it my mellow-happy music.

You know, since I'm staying on campus and all that, I think it may actually be a good thing. I mean, my mom's not well right now, and I hate that I can't be there with her all the time. Definitley. I hate that.
But since I'm on my own, (not fully, of course; I go home every weekend for church and to be with my family) I find myself more and more.
Like, literally find myself. Who I am, and what I do in the face of pressure and the like. What sort of things I really like: types of music, how I want to dress...the dressing is a big one, because when I'm home, my mom doesn't approve of certain things I'd like to wear, and I have to worry about..oh, I don't know, trying to get past her out of the door, haha.

Since I'm spending the weeks away, I have to make most of my decisions on my own, without getting a chance to get input from my family, and I'm learning the consequences of not making wise choices (like perhaps writing this blog before memorizing the muscles in the mink when my lab practical is tomorrow afternoon). But it's a learning process >_<.

I just love where I'm at right now, in my life.

What really cemented it for me was a small thing, but it was a big deal to me. I bought a longboard the other day ($260). When my parents came up to my campus on saturday for the event my club was having (a Hair Expo), I rode it to go and meet them at the train station. I was afraid they would be upset with me, especially when they found out how much it cost. But although they pointed out that they wished I had paid off a few more bills first, my dad said that he wasn't upset with me for having bought it. He explained that it was up to me to do what I thought was necessary and best for myself, and well.....

I just felt so much better. It's such a nice feeling to grow into oneself, especially coming from a super-overprotective family like I have. All my life I haven't been able to make my own decisions, but now that I am, I think I love it.

Anyhow. Speaking of wise decisions, let me go now and study for my practical. That's what responsibility is all about, right?
*smiles*

let there be love,
~Cahryn K.

Swell Almost Spring Day

HI THERE!
I just had a fantastic day.
Like, really fantastic.
It started out with me going to class, learning about the gene that's believed to cause schizophrenia and autism (something I've been wanting to study for ages!) and then there was a blood drive at my school, and I donated blood.

Finally.

I've been wanting to do that for about 2 years and haven't done it till now. I'm so glad I was able to do it...I almost couldn't because I'd recently gotten my ears pierced (for the first time...didn't tell you that, did I?) But they let me.

It feels awesome.

Then today was thursday, so there are all these vendors that come to the lobby of the Student Activities Center (SAC) at my school, and I went and bought....dun dun dunnnn....

A LONGBOARD.

Yes. I did it. I bought a friggin' longboard.

I loves it already. It's so cooooollll.....but it's really fast and I have to get used to it. Cost me a pretty penny, though....$260. But its worth it.

I put it on my credit card. >_<
I also got a macbook pro (but that was last monday), which is the mostest awesometasticalest machine for computering ever made!

The weather was gorgeous today, up to 70 in the city and high 60s out here on the island. Loved it. I wore a tshirt today and wasn't cold =D
Then I went to the rest of my classes and hung out with my rocking cool friend Melodi and we painted our nails and had girl talk and I tried on her hairpiece (and fell in love, see pic above)...I want my own.

Anyway, now I'm sleeping over in her dorm and its like, 4:19am....yes, we stayed up that late. So..I'm going to bed now, I just wanted to share my lovely day with you.

peace, love and beautiful almost-spring days,
Cahryn K.