Dark Red Words

dark red words
not spoken by me
a fire lit by circumstance
fueled and fanned by fury

To tame it within
I press play and listen
to the dark red words
not spoken by me

Alice would have danced.

A Snowy Winter Day

a slanted light
a silver kiss
a frozen smile...the touch
of winter lips
upon my skin

A scent, a whisper
a long-forgotten moment
washed up on the shores of memory
and psyche...torturous
and calling.
Do I answer?

Baby It's Cold Outside!

Hi there!

It's December now. Christmas is well on it's way, and the freezing weather hasn't been lagging too far behind - we're going down to 29 degrees Farenheit tonight.

That's really cold. I'm really cold.

Anyway, this semester has gone by so quickly; already there's only one week left of classes and then its finals week and then we're done!

Technically, I should only have one more semester left in school, but eh, things often don't go according to schedule, and my life (as I'm sure you've noticed by now) is no exception. I'm not the only one spending a few extra semesters in college...a few of my friends are too, and I've been told that it's quite common, so I don't feel so bad. The worst part, really, is just that my dad will be having to pay ten thousand dollars extra, because of that. Actually, more, because that's only for tuition, not counting books or transportation. So...we can tack on another $2000 for that, probably.

Not cool, but, I've gotta make the best of it. He's not sending me to school to come out sub-par...I'm going there to learn everything they teach me and to master it. If I can stop procrastinating and just generally wasting time, then perhaps I'd find room for all these extra-curricular activities that I'd like to do.

VIP things I need to do over winter break:

1. Shadow a P.A. Then maybe I can ask them how and where they acquired their hours of direct patient care experience.

2. Clean my room THOROUGHLY. No exceptions, no excuses, my room is going to be one hundred percent spic and span. Not an ounce of anything I don't need.

3. Fill out FAFSA. This is very, very important, and perhaps I can get daddy to file taxes early so that I can get it done as early as possible.

4. Apply for Scholarships. This needs to be done before December is even out, because there are a few with deadlines of Dec. 31st. Essay ones. Those are the best.

5. Work on my stories. Aurora Bourealis has got to be at the top of my list. Besides that, I've got to add at least one more chapter to The Mystical, and I'm hoping to get the word count of my new story (still untitled) up to 10,000 so that I can post it on inkpop. =)

6. CATCH UP ON SLEEP!! This is vital. It is vital to my health, my wellbeing, my physical and mental states of wellness....I'll go to bed no later than eleven. Seriously. No late night movie watching. If I want to watch a movie, it's got to go on by 9pm the latest.

7. Practice my instruments. Goals. I need goals for this one. My goal is: On the piano, I want to be able to play (flawlessly...or...almost) What I've Done by Linkin Park, and Fur Elise (at least the first movement). I also must practice my own songs. On the guitar, my goal is to learn to play Brighter Days by Leeland, and I must practice my own songs as well. However, on the guitar, first I must learn the scales and the notes.

I also must learn at least seven new chords. (On the guitar and piano, each).

8. Finish reading the New Testament before New Years. This is VIP. Very. VERY VERY VIP.

Alright. I've got my bio lab practical on Monday afternoon, and well, lots of studying to do. I'll chat with you more later.

P.S. There's a lovely new show (okay, it's not new, it's older than I am) that I've fallen for called Doctor Who. It's a British Sci-fi comedy/thriller that's just scintillating! =)

Your scintillating bio student,

~Cahryn K.

Day Thirty-Nine: Almost There!!

Hi there! Today's day thirty nine!

And I'm very, very proud to say, I haven't had any more slipups!!! =D
YAY!!!

Tomorrow is the last day of my forty-day fast, and I feel accomplished. I'm not there yet, but I'm so happy to know that it can be done, and by me!

It's also going to be nice to be able to eat during the daytime, lol.

But I can see how I've grown. It used to bother me to have food nearby when I was fasting, but now, I can have food, open, right under my nose, and be surrounded by people eating and it doesn't even faze me.

Proof: It was the second to last week of the Love Feast at church, where a family cooks each week for seven weeks for the entire church, and I finally stayed for it, because I wanted to get to spend some time with Christina, and so I sat at the table with everyone around me eating, but all I was doing was talking. Then Lisa noticed that I wasn't eating, nor did I have a fork. So she offered me one, and said "Ohmigosh, I'm sorry, you don't have a fork, so you can't eat!"

Lol.

So I declined politely and said that I was saving the food for later, and of course everyone wanted to know why, so I said because I'm fasting, and Raequette looked SO surprised; she asked "But how can you just sit there with the food in front of you, and you're just staring at it! Aren't you tempted?"
So I thought about it (for the first time, actually) and realized, no, it didn't tempt me. I'd gotten used to it.

I know I'm fasting, I know I can't eat, and so, no biggie. But I'm very glad that God has helped me to get through this thus far.

In other news, I'm about to declare an English minor!!!! WHOOOOOOPEEEEEE!
I'm so excited about that. I realized that I have enough English classes (and I'm taking two more as DECs next semester) that I'll only need two more and then I'll have completed all the requirements for an English minor. And then, I just get my GPA up a little bit higher (which the English classes will help me to do) and I know my English GPA is great, and I'LL BE ABLE TO GET INTO THE ENGLISH HONOR SOCIETY!!!!
How uh-may-zing is THAT?

I love God.

He rocks.

I also really like Stellar Kart. Lol. Random, I know, but not so much, really. I happen to be listening to them right now on my iPod. *bops head*

I also really like Doctor Who. It's a British sci-fi mystery series with an alien Time Lord known only as The Doctor....he time travels and solves all sorts of crazy alien mysteries. I loves it!!

Okay, time for me to go now...must get some sleep!!

See you later!!
Your stellar time traveler,
~Cahryn K.

Day Thirty: It's been a while

I know, wow, I'm back.

You probably thought I fell off the face of the earth.

Well I've got news for you: the earth doesn't have a face. So how would I fall off it? =P

I'm still tired. Even more so...I also have my 12-time-a-year-visitor and I'm just a little bit irritable.

Just a bit. (Read: a whole frigging lot).

Lots of things haven't been working out for me, namely: technology, study time, physics, nor anything worthwhile in general.

Here's an example: I had a Cell Signaling midterm today. On saturday I went to the mall to buy a pillow, because they had a sale (which I missed, so I had to pay full price($12) for one and get the other for $1 instead of each for $3.99), and I took all my cell signaling lecture notes and put them in the bag I was bringing so I could study while I was traveling. Well, the bus was full on the way there, so I had to stand squished and didn't get to study, and my hands were full on the way back, so I didn't get to study, and then today came, and I grabbed my folder containing the notes and shoved it in my bookbag haphazardly as I dashed madly out of the house to catch the bus.

One little problem.

The notes were not in that folder. They were in my other bag, nestled snugly in a corner on my bedroom floor.

I discovered this while I was sitting in the Traditions Lounge at my school, wracking my brain for a reason as to why there were only BIO 201 notes in my folder.

Yeah. Such has been my life as of late.

My fast is going splendidly, and by splendidly I mean I've only got ten more days to go and hallelujah. Forty days is a really, really, really long time. I screwed up um...three times, but hopefully God is merciful and I can still make this work. I mean...He can still make this work.

Today is my nephew's birthday, Little Chris. He's three now. I find that pretty hard to grasp...I mean, I remember before he was born...I remember right after he was born and he was just three days old and we went to see him and he wasn't even dark-skinned yet. (Now he's a deep chocolate).

Random subject change, I know. I miss writing. A lot. I miss reading, but I really, really, really miss writing. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go and write right now.

No, I can't. I have to do Bioportal, or start on MasteringPhysics, or something of the like. I hate school. It's always the worst the third month in....everything has just become so tedious, and it doesn't let up, neither.

*wants to cry*

So I'm going to go read a little bit of my story and perhaps write just a tad, and then do my schoolwork.

I'll talk to you again soon,

~your droopy-eyed scholar,

Cahryn K.