Day Nine: Happy Birthday, Big Bro!

So. I missed school today, because I was so tired that I couldn't get up.

Whoops.

On a better note, today is my older brother's birthday. He turned 32. So we called him up and wished him a happy birthday, sang for him, I talked a bit...

He seems on not so good footing with my dad...like he's sore at him for something, but what else is new?

Oh. This could have something to do with the fact that my dad didn't show up at all for Lanese's birthday (my niece).

*sigh* My family life is always so complicated and strained. It really sucks. But then again, living in general sucks, with it's occasional highlights.

Um. Fasting. It's day nine. I fell back some, not cool, but this mustn't happen again. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. Cause Jesus said so. *nods*

I'm very tired, and my lab report is kind of almost finished. I did the methods and materials, and the results, and I'm working on the discussion, and then the introduction is next.

Nothing interesting has happened, except I decorated my blog today, and made it really pretty and flowery. I like. It's quite lovely.

Anyway, it's late, though not as late as usual, but I'm sooo taking this opportunity to get some extra sleep.

Good night, your repentant fluff,

~Cahryn K.

Day Eight: Soooo sleepy...

Hi. LIfe is so often tough. I also like how I'm writing this in white, because it looks invisible; white ink on a white background. I just have to be careful with my spelling and typing, since I can't see if I've made any mistakes.

I've got an exam for lab tonight (who gets exams in LAB?) Mom is here with me, and she wants us to spend the night on campus. I just really want to go home. But that's not making much headway against her plan. *sigh*

The fasting's going well so far. No complaints. Wow. What would I have to complain about? *shakes head* Anyway, um, it's six thirty nine now, and my exam is at eight thirty, so.....yeah. Today is day eight, I think.

I'm sooo tired. I soooo got like, 2 and a half hours of sleep last night. Not cool.

Anyway, I feel like I might be making typos now, so....see you. I'll maybe add more later.

Your tired pillow-craver,

~Cahryn K.

Day Five: Early, Muffinated, and Crunched for Time.

Hi. I know I said I would blog in the evenings, but this is about my progress and how stuff goes, right?

There. That's my excuse.

It's only 2:08pm, and I'm huuuunnnngggrrryyyyy. *sigh* Ugh.

Besides that, I wanted to go to bible study at 2:30, but now I can't, because I have to go to the BLC and practice for the competence exam instead. LIFE SUCKS BUTT, SOMETIMES.

I also have to do MasteringPhysics, and the Results section of my lab report rewrite, and clean my room. The first and the last have to be done before 9pm tonight. Because I can't clean my room until I've finished MasteringPhysics, and Ms. Sylvia is coming to stay by us tonight, and she's getting here at nine, and so therefore, I've gotta have my room spic and span. (Wishful thinking). But at the very least, organized and decent, no piles of clothes everywhere like it is right now.

I want to GO HOME!!!! =(

I probably won't get any time to blog later, so this is my blog for today.

Your muffin crunched for time,

~Cahryn Vanilla K.

Day Four: Brrrrr......

I'm tired of these posts not coming out in the color that I want them to. Grrr.

It's the end of day four. I'm a little exasperated with myself. Although I'm proud that I made it through the day with only an apple, I'm frustrated that I keep on losing focus.

I guess fasting doesn't really help with focus after all. That sucks.

And now my dad's mad at me, which generally puts me in a foul mood. And he's grumpy over dinner again--or rather, the lack thereof. But the stupid thing is, dinner is cooked. It's just not warm. And if we would have bought a darn microwave years ago, we wouldn't be having this problem every night.

I'm supposed to be working on my lab report rewrite. I'm going to do that now, and check in here occasionally.

It's gotten very cold all of a sudden. And while I'm not exactly complaining, because it's nice not to be hot and sweaty with poofy hair, it rains every other day (literally) and so the poofy hair sticks around anyway...now it's just cold and rainy. Kind of like a certain town in the northwest I'd like to visit.

*sigh* I haven't done much reading lately. Now I miss it. *sighs again*

I need to get my winterclothes washed. But we have like, no money. It sucks to be poor.

I shall do the Audible. ;-) *puts on fancy lady voice* "Audible dot com. Music that speaks to you, wherever you are!"

Be back later!

*time passes*

*sings* Anytime you feel alone put on your headphones/love, love is coming through your headphones! Loooo ooo ooo oo oove, is coming through your headphones! ^_^

"hands up like a rollercoaster, this love is taking over, take your time oh...gravity we'll defy it, cause we were made for flying, we're about to lose control, WELCOME TO THE SHOW!!!"

I heart Britt Nicole

8:24pm

Hey! That thing that's been puzzling me for the past 3 hours ...concentration of a solution..I've finally got it figured out! I'll do it like a percent, like Corey said I could. At least now I get it, lol.

What do you get if you chop an avocado up into 6.0 x 10^23 pieces?

Guaca-mole. Haha. =)

Odd. Random. Moments. Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I could have had the chance to see Hilary Duff, because she was in the Barnes & Noble in Carle Place signing books...she's written a novel called Elixir. And Carle Place is on the train route on my way to school...but I didn't have time to go nor money to buy her book. =(

*sigh* Such is my life.

9:23pm

I'm done with the Materials and Methods section of my lab report. Gosh, I'm so tired. Like, really, really tired. Actually doing work with the brain tires you out right quick!

I'm listening to Thousand Foot Krutch right now. Nice soundtrack to work to--it's fantastically un-mellowly mellow. It's kind of harsh, with crazy beats and insane guitar solos, but the overall effect is mellow. Just how I like it. =) Perfect for studying...it becomes a background audio, not distracting you with hopping dance beats or catchy loud phrases.

Thank God for them.

I just have to figure out how to do the Name-Year reference and do it for the one spot now, and then I'm going to work on my prelab until I fall asleep in front of the computer, lol.

Good night.

Peace, love, and joy to the world for Christmas is on its way,

~your sleepy sweet, Cahryn K.

Day Three: Looking Up

And so, here I am. It's the third day of my fast, and so far, so good.

I got my "visitor" yesterday night, but thanks to keeping myself doped up on generic advil ever since Saturday morning, I've gotten by with little to no pain at all. Thank God.

I also went to my instructor Corey's office hours in the Bio Learning Center this afternoon to discuss my lab report with him and turn in my isopods for extra credit, and that went along smoothly too. Apparently my isopods were midgets, though. He said I only had three good-sized ones...the rest were really too small to do anything with, but since he saw I tried, he went along with the twenty that I found and he'll give me 8 points. =)

And brilliant news: THERE IS NO PLAGIARISM!!! HAAAALLLEEELLLUUUJJJAAHHH!

He only wrote that on my paper because I had forgotten one --ONE-- spot where I ought to have placed a reference, and he wanted to make sure I didn't forget in the rewrite. Yeesh. Coulda given a sister a heart-attack, you know. *shakes head*

Anyway, so I also found out that while the class average for the first Cell Signaling midterm was 80, I got a 56. Hmph. I THOUGHT I did well...guess not. But all that will change.

I can see how this fast will help me with so much...It's going to help me get on the right footing with God, which is its main purpose, and an added benefit should be that I lose a bit of weight ;-), as well as the fact that since I'm not doing anything other than schoolwork (and the occasional blog), I can focus on the things that are important. Like studying for the tests that I'll be having every single week up until Thanksgiving break.

Yeah. I said wow, too. It'll be hard work, but I'm actually somewhat looking forward to it. Contrary to popular belief, I actually do like to learn. And study...just not...math.......or chemistry. But other stuff, yes!

And I also happen to enjoy taking tests. Heh. Maybe I'm weird. But uh.....so. This boy who sometimes sits next to me in physics, named Su Deng (that says it all right there) got a 95 on the physics midterm. And he doesn't even take notes in class. Just sits there with his clicker and answers the questions, and then goes home and does the MasteringPhysics homework.

*shakes head* It's people like him who mess up the curve.....but at the same time, that's great for him, that he can actually manage that. At least he's friendly and helps me in class.

So, what I'm going to be doing is blogging (or trying to blog) every evening before I go to bed to fill you in on the day's events and the progress I'm making. This is the first time in my life that I'm attempting anything like this...the extent of my fasting up until now was a three-hour fast here, a five-hour one there...I used to be terrified of them! I once went one week refraining from buttered toast (don't laugh) because the pastor wanted us to give up something that we did often or every day just to practice self sacrifice.

I was miserable.

It went without saying that I had to lose the toast, because I don't watch tv, play video games, I hardly read novels during the schoolyear....and well, what else was I supposed to fast from? I tried school--haha. Didn't cut it with my folks.

Anyway. So, point is, this is my first time with a fast this major. No food 9am-5pm daily, (I only permit myself a coffee or hot chocolate during the day since I'm not used to this yet), no facebook, no twitter, no aim (not that I do that anyway) NO STORY WEBSITES, GAH, and things of the like. And all this for forty days straight. No excuses.

I'm actually very proud of myself that even with my "visitor" I was able to hold out and not eat any food from nine this morning to well...it's 4:42pm now. I nearly caved a few times, but I managed it. Now I know I can do anything!

I've got to finish my MasteringPhysics homework..I have a few questions left--I worked on it earlier today (yay me!). I also worked hard on revising my lab report last night, and I'm quite pleased. I made sure I understood the purpose of the experiment and what was done and WHY. And I showed it to Corey, who said "Good, this is good." SO! (^_^) Color me happy and draw me a smile!

Anyway. Off to the homework now. Cause we're smart like that.

Your smart cookie,

~Cahryn K.

What A Day....

Oh, my, dear.

I am having SUCH a hard day.

Just...wow. I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but I've been busy not being busy when I was supposed to be busy and then being wayyy over busy when I didn't have the time to be so busy.

A vicious cycle.

And now, I apparently picked the wrong train car to sit in, since a crowd of really loud, really obnoxious, really....annoying.....ghetto - sounding people have sat themselves upstairs from me. And in the bottom level here, we have some person playing a computer game on their laptop complete with sword-sounds chinking and little plings every time they get a point.

Life.

And I've got homework to do.

Oh, but that's not all. I got back my lab report today for biology, and would you believe I've been accused of plagiarism???? Plagiarism. Of all the bloody things....

And the stupid SafeAssign, which is a computer program that we have to upload our papers to in order for it to check our work against databases on the internet, is the one who has decided that I plagiarized.

God knows I didn't mean to!

It was probably something I forgot to cite....some stupidness. Oh snarfopodderrrrrrrr! Ugh! As if it wasn't bad enough that I only got a 36 out of 100, then got 10 points taken off because it was FIVE minutes late...and so it counted as a whole day late.

Son-of-a-snarfopod.

Omg. I want to cry.

I don't cheat on tests!!!! How on earth would I plagiarize on a paper???

And the thing is, the Academic Judiciary has been notified, cause that's protocol, and they take these things so seriously. I mean, with good reason, but I didn't mean to !!! OH MY GOD WHAT SHALL I DOOOO??

Pray, of course.

I mustn't cry. I'm on a train. I mustn't cry. I will not cry. I will not.....

I hate the way life goes sometimes. Really, really hate it.

*Sigh*

I'm doing a forty day fast. No food from 9-5, no facebook, no story websites, the like. But I need blogger.com . I need some way to vent, or I'll go mad.

I'm going to do my homework now, alright? Talk to you later. Maybe tomorrow evening after I've finished my homework.

Oh, the good news is, we get a rewrite on the lab report. Also, I got an 82.3 on my first Bio 201 exam.

I also cut my hair by myself for the very first time on October 1st. It came out looking lovely...it's all punky now. =)

Other than that, I'll be getting a Snoopy that dances for Christmas, and maybe a pair of drumsticks. I've also learned to twirl drumsticks through my fingers and I've improved greatly at the drums. *sigh*

See? There is some good in life yet......

Many loves and kisses,

~Cahryn K.

A Poem I Wrote In The Middle Of The Night

The Inked Heart

They do not understand
They cannot understand
The night sky falling beneath my fingers
Dark clouds illuminated by the light of a lone star
As I trace the pattern of a slumbering world

They will not understand
They would not understand
The shape of a sound breaking over water
Curved melodies snaking around my waist
As I eke out the rhythm of a beating heart

They shall not understand
They'll never understand
The form of a vowel upon the point
Upon the sharp point of ink and graphite
Upon the sharp point of wit and tongue

It is mine
It is mine alone, and yet it is ours
It belongs to us

But I understand, you understand
Yes, we live to understand
The beauty of the unwritten, unspoken, uncreated
It is true, I live to understand
The pattern that is inked upon my living, beating heart.

~Composed 7-31-2010