Wanderlust and wonderings

So I'm feeling better lately.

My mom has been sick, she still is, but at least she's getting treatment now...

I'm probably going to ...no... definitely going to be MIA for the next six weeks. I have three hardcore summer classes that I'll be taking; Organic Chemistry, Physics, and Physics lab. 

Blechh. 

But...I'm determined to do well. 

Also, I finally signed up to volunteer at my university hospital. 

And changed my career path. 

And have reached a new hair-length goal: BRA-STRAP LENGTH!!! 

And I'm going to buy a SLR camera, finally. I'm getting a refund from financial aid sometime in the next 3 weeks (hopefully) so I'll actually be able to afford one. 

I hope to use it to make some money...

...besides soothe my artistic instincts. 

I tried to make a photography blog, but I don't know what really happened with it...it sort of....sat there. Or maybe my internet conked out. I don't remember. But I think it's called purple pixels. 

It's floating around here somewhere, with nothing on it. =(

I have to pee. I'll be back. 

*five minutes go by*

I'm back. ^_^ Much better. Ahem. 

Oh yes! Lovely news. I've stretched my ears two sizes, first from 18g to 16g, and now, a few days ago, from 16g to 14g. ^_^ I'm so happy! I'm finally wearing plugs! Small ones, no doubt, but plugs nonetheless!

Enough exclamation points for now. 

I've stumbled across a photography blog by a young girl/mother/artist named Nirrimi...she's literally the embodiment of what I want my life to be like. Here's her page: Wanderlust

I don't know how to reconcile all my desires with my life. I want so much. There's got to be so much more than just going to college, graduating, getting a job, getting married, and having kids and a house. 

How boring is that? So what if you're doing something you love? 

There's the entire world around you...why wouldn't you go out and travel, and experience it, and see how other people live, and taste other culture's food, and walk barefoot on the beach at sunrise, or hide in a cave in a forest during an impromptu thunderstorm?

I used to want to go to med school. But there was so much pressure with that, and now I can honestly say I don't believe I'm cut out for it. I'm too dreamy. I'm too...artistic. I would stifle with all the stress and responsibility that accompanies that. The years of hard work. 

I want to live my life freely. I want to express myself in the clothes I wear, in how I do my hair, in what I choose to put in or on my body, and in what I create. 

I love to learn. But not to apply the knowledge. 

Heheh. Odd, I suppose. But then...the perfect career for me is.....RESEARCH. Tada!

This is an awfully long blog post, but I need to express myself. After all, that's what blogging is for, right? 

Is it wrong that when I see myself falling in love (which I do believe is possible, contrary to what I tell many people) it's not with someone of the african-american race? 

Maybe it is wrong. I don't care. 

Maybe it's a product of having grown up near/in a ghetto...and just seeing the type of "black male" that such a culture produces. I want nothing of it. 

Back to traveling the world. My mother left Norway and moved to America on her own when she was twenty-five, just two years older than I am now. Before that, she had been to Africa and Germany. Is it really my fault that wanderlust runs in my blood? 

I want to take a road trip across America and play guitar by a bonfire in the midwest, surrounded by fascinating individuals and laugh up at the stars. I want to dress in jean shorts and cowboy boots, lace tops and 0g plugs. 

I want to climb the trees in the Olympian forest of the Northwest, and visit a Native American reservation...heck, I want to live there for a while. I wonder if that's legal. 

I want to travel with nothing but a camera and a wallet. I want to own a run down, beat up pick-up truck, in faded blue chipped paint. 

But what I don't know for sure is....does all this traveling require money? Do you have to be rich? Or can you just hitchhike? And then comes the problem of the fact that I'm a girl, and it's "not safe" to travel like that. 

But I have a friend...one of my best guy friends, who shares the same wanderlust as I do. 

Problem numero uno. 

He likes me. 

Would it really be smart to travel the country alone with him? No. 

*sigh* 

I have an 8 page paper to do that's due between friday and monday, and it's wednesday evening now. 

I ought to sign off and shut up for now. 

Thanks for listening. I love you.