=)
I'm going to go study...just now. Really, I am.
I just want to talk a little bit. I'm in such a good mood it's lovely. I'm listening to Pandora radio and I have it on a station I call my Civil Twilight station. I once downloaded a free song by them from iTunes and loved their style, so now I'm listening to all sorts of music that's similar.
I call it my mellow-happy music.
You know, since I'm staying on campus and all that, I think it may actually be a good thing. I mean, my mom's not well right now, and I hate that I can't be there with her all the time. Definitley. I hate that.
But since I'm on my own, (not fully, of course; I go home every weekend for church and to be with my family) I find myself more and more.
Like, literally find myself. Who I am, and what I do in the face of pressure and the like. What sort of things I really like: types of music, how I want to dress...the dressing is a big one, because when I'm home, my mom doesn't approve of certain things I'd like to wear, and I have to worry about..oh, I don't know, trying to get past her out of the door, haha.
Since I'm spending the weeks away, I have to make most of my decisions on my own, without getting a chance to get input from my family, and I'm learning the consequences of not making wise choices (like perhaps writing this blog before memorizing the muscles in the mink when my lab practical is tomorrow afternoon). But it's a learning process >_<.
I just love where I'm at right now, in my life.
What really cemented it for me was a small thing, but it was a big deal to me. I bought a longboard the other day ($260). When my parents came up to my campus on saturday for the event my club was having (a Hair Expo), I rode it to go and meet them at the train station. I was afraid they would be upset with me, especially when they found out how much it cost. But although they pointed out that they wished I had paid off a few more bills first, my dad said that he wasn't upset with me for having bought it. He explained that it was up to me to do what I thought was necessary and best for myself, and well.....
I just felt so much better. It's such a nice feeling to grow into oneself, especially coming from a super-overprotective family like I have. All my life I haven't been able to make my own decisions, but now that I am, I think I love it.
Anyhow. Speaking of wise decisions, let me go now and study for my practical. That's what responsibility is all about, right?
*smiles*
let there be love,
~Cahryn K.
The tiny amount of freedom I get? I feel exactly how you feel... I'm finding myself, and loving it (until my mom ruins it... because you know, I'm around her and NOT on my own).
ReplyDeleteI'm a commuter and unfortunately don't have the funds to live on campus. I have been invited to spend an entire week with a friend which I'll surely take up. Spending a whole week on campus with myself I feel will be exhilarating! I love learning about myself and making life decisions! I can't wait to get a car someday... I really hope soon, because I LOVE my school, I just kinda feel like an outsider cause I'm never up there long. All of these friendships and such.. I need to be more connected with the friends I have made. College needs to be all about learning academically and personally, ya know?
I'm SO not on my own either....and I'm a commuter too! When I said I was staying on campus, it was because I have this awesometastically cool friend (who is like, the coolest asian I know) who had an empty bed in her dorm room since her roomie moved out and so she let me stay there...it was really cool. And awfully kind of her, especially since we weren't actually friends before she offered it to me. She was just my friend's suite mate. But now we're great friends. =)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, you're right...there is so much that I was missing out on by being a commuter; I would just up and go home as soon as classes were done. Hey..I'm just wondering, what's your major? Mine is biology, and I'm specializing in neuroscience (cause it's like, so cool).
By the way, I made a tumblr today (there you go, inspiring me again) and found you and follow you now! Ahem. I'm sort of stalking you now...you should go and check your figment account, too. LOL. Sorry. You're just kind of awesometastical. Anywhoos, my tumblr is eia-kjaerlighet ....^_^
I have an asian friend who's like that! We just became friends this year, and she's beyond sweet! Like, she has one of the biggest hearts ever!
ReplyDeleteI think I can bum out with some friends on campus next year more often cause they'll be living in houses and apartments. Hopefully I'll have a car, then I can have more say-so on where I go. -_-
And I'm a communication sciences and disorders major! Studying to be a speech pathologist! So, I'll do work with all types of people- from kids who have trouble differentiating their "r"s and "w"s and say things like "wed" for "red", I could help kids with down syndrome pronounce their words better, stutterers, people with aphasia, stroke-sufferers, veterans who have language issues. Like, in class we learn about child development, and tongue placement for each sound that's said, we've done phonetic transcription, and such. I love it and LOVE learning with this major because it's so intriguing! Always learning something new about everyday, common things! I think if I concentrated on a certain issue, so far I'd like it to be aphasia. I went to an aphasia support group and it was SO interesting! I'd love to help them.
Sorry, I rambled! But you go, girl! I commend you for your bio major (and your specialization in neuroscience! I was/am terrible at anything that has to do with the brain, and I was a bio major my freshman year. It was NO BUENO for me haha! I didn't want to do anything as a career with it, and it was hard. I wouldn't have mind the hard parts of it, but I had no motivation to continue cause I couldn't visualize myself in the future doing anything, ya know? Freshman year was a dark period, lol. I made a HUGE turnaround though. I'm so happy I did.
And I see you on tumblr! And I saw figment! Woot! Haha I'll talk to ya later!